My funeral is scheduled for Saturday morning at 10:00 AM. But I won’t be in a coffin. I’ll be standing in the gravel driveway, wearing my good flannel and my Sunday boots, watching strangers bid on the bones of my life. They call it an “Estate Auction.” It sounds clean. Tidy. Almost dignified. But when […]
My son, Mike, who lives in Chicago, thinks I’m spending Thanksgiving with my daughter, Sarah. My daughter, Sarah, who’s an ER nurse here in town, thinks I’m flying out to be with Mike. The truth? It’s 1:00 PM on Thanksgiving Day. I’m 79 years old, living in a quiet house outside Pittsburgh. And I just
The Thanksgiving My Kids Finally Saw I Was Lying About Being “Fine” Read More »
At 2:15 PM on Thanksgiving, I saw my daughter’s car in her driveway. An hour later, I saw my son-in-law carving a turkey through their dining room window. I could even see the little pink dress on my granddaughter, Lily. My phone, sitting on my cold kitchen counter, never rang. My name is Carol, I’m
The Thanksgiving My Children Forgot Me, and the Internet Forced Us to Talk Read More »
I stopped breathing at exactly 10:15 AM inside a Goodwill on the south side of town. I was only there because my daughter, Sarah, is moving me into “Sunrise Meadows” next week. That’s the polite name for the place old people go when their kids run out of patience and spare bedrooms. Sarah was three
The $14.99 Jacket That Turned an Invisible Old Man into a Living Warning Read More »
Thirty-four motorcycles trapped our nursing home parking lot that gray November morning, and for the first time in my twelve years pushing a med cart, I watched people fight to break someone out instead of locking them in. Later, the internet would argue whether it was a kidnapping or a rescue. Standing there in my
When Thirty-Four Motorcycles Came for an Old Man No One Else Remembered Read More »
I got the call every landlord dreads. It came on a Tuesday morning, right as I was finishing my coffee. When the phone rings and you see a tenant’s name, your stomach just clenches. You brace yourself. It’s either a broken pipe, a noise complaint, or the dreaded, “I can’t make the rent.” This call
My Tenant Couldn’t Pay Rent, I Gave Her 90 Days, Then the Internet Exploded Read More »
I could lose my pension for what is inside the bottom drawer of my desk. Technically, I am violating three distinct District statutes regarding “unapproved resource distribution,” “allergy liability protocols,” and “personal property negligence.” If the School Board walked into Room 204 right now, they would see a standard American classroom. They’d see the peeling
The Teacher’s Secret Drawer That Fed Hungry Kids and Broke All the Right Rules Read More »
The man I have slept next to for 46 years asked me to leave his house this morning. He looked me dead in the eye, clutching a throw pillow like a shield, and said, “Ma’am, you need to go. I’m waiting for my wife, Ellen. She’ll be back from the store any minute.” My name
He Asked Me to Leave Our House: The Real Cost of Loving Through Dementia Read More »
“Move it, you idiot!” The scream came from a sedan next to me. It was followed by a long, angry blast of a car horn. Then another. Then a chorus of them. I was sitting at the busy intersection near the big Supercenter on Washington Avenue. It was 5:00 PM on a Friday—peak American rush
The Day I Stopped Traffic and Met the Man the Internet Laughed At Read More »
I DISAPPEARED THIS MORNING AT 9:00 AM. I didn’t die. I didn’t get kidnapped. I simply stood in my own driveway in suburban Ohio, and watched the world look right through me. We were having a “downsizing” sale. That’s the polite American word for it. But really, it’s just strangers picking through the bones of
When Your Whole Life Costs One Dollar: An Old Man’s Plea to America Read More »
