If I eventually decide to move him into a place where trained professionals can keep him safe, I will still be keeping my promise.
I will still be the woman who shows up, who holds his hand, who brings his favorite pie on Sundays.
It will still be love.
So here is the message I want to leave you with, the one that might get me called names by people who have never watched a body forget its own name:
Stop judging caregivers for the choices they make to survive.
If someone keeps their loved one at home until the last breath, that is love.
If someone chooses a memory care center because their back, heart, or bank account is breaking, that is also love.
And if you are scrolling on your phone, shaking your head, thinking, “I would do it differently,” I challenge you to close your mouth and open your hands.
Bring over a meal. Offer to sit with their person for an afternoon so they can take a nap or go cry in their car in peace.
Love is not your opinion typed into a comment box.
Love is what you do when someone else is drowning.
Tonight, I will tuck my husband into bed. I will check the locks. I will set the baby monitor on the nightstand so I can hear if he gets up.
And tomorrow, I might make an appointment to tour that memory care center again.
Not because I love him less.
But because I love him enough to want both of us to survive this.
If you are a caregiver standing at the edge of that decision, I won’t tell you what to do. I’m still figuring it out myself.
But I will tell you this:
You are not a monster for being tired.
You are not a failure for needing help.
And whatever choice you make out of love and truth, not fear and guilt, is a brave one.
The world may never fully understand what you carry.
But I do.
And I’m standing right here with you, in the messy, unglamorous middle of real love.
Thank you so much for reading this story!
I’d really love to hear your comments and thoughts about this story — your feedback is truly valuable and helps us a lot.
Please leave a comment and share this Facebook post to support the author. Every reaction and review makes a big difference!
This story is a work of fiction created for entertainment and inspirational purposes. While it may draw on real-world themes, all characters, names, and events are imagined. Any resemblance to actual people or situations is purely coincidenta
